How the test works
Answer based on your experience over approximately the last month. Think about close relationships (partner, family, close friends) and how you tend to behave during disagreement or emotional tension. All questions are required.
What this test explores
- Repair & accountability – making amends, owning impact, returning to connection.
- Escalation & blame – intensity, criticism, contempt or “winning” the argument.
- Withdrawal & avoidance – shutting down, disappearing, stonewalling or delaying indefinitely.
- Clarity & listening – stating needs clearly, staying on topic, active listening.
Healthy conflict is less about never fighting, and more about repairing, understanding and protecting the relationship over time.
Conflict Communication Styles Test – FAQ
Is escalation always “bad”?
Not necessarily. Strong emotions are normal. Escalation becomes problematic when it turns into blame, contempt, threats or personal attacks that reduce safety and trust.
Why do people withdraw during conflict?
Withdrawal can be a protective reaction to overwhelm, fear or learned patterns. A timed break can be healthy, but long shutdowns without repair can damage connection.
Can these patterns change?
Yes. Many people improve conflict communication with skills (de-escalation, repair attempts, clearer requests), and sometimes with couples or individual therapy.